I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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