Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
