That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
