There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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