My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
