After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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