Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
