Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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