It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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