I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
