Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
