Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
it's like heaven, but drunker
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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