Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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