sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
