Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
