yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she told me i tasted like america
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize