and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
