I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
