You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize