I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
