What a fucking waste of an outfit
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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