dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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