What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
...so i touched it.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
