Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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