I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
