D3 body, D1 cock
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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