So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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