Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
jump out the window naked night went bad
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
