We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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