I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
