I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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