He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
