Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
