Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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