Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
