I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
