Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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