Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
