i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
