I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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