I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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