remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
