seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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