It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
