kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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