BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
