Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
