I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
