When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
