Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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