Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
