I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
