I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
