how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dick very happy bro
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
