we're chasing vodka with high fives
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
