somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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