I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
