Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
In America we eat man semen.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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