Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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