i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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